Family is a big deal! When family life is going well, life tends to go well! When family life is going poorly, life can be a nightmare. If you want to improve your family right now, or if you are simply hoping to have a strong family of your own someday, here are seven powerful ways you can strengthen your family:
1. Use Your Value System
You have probably heard the saying, “You are what you eat.” It is true that what we take in to our body tends to be incorporated into our body. It is the same with our mind and spirit. What we take into our minds and spirits will be incorporated there, and it will ultimately affect how we behave. Because of this, it is important that we have a regular intake of pro-social and spiritual messages. We need to be frequently reminded of who we are, who we can become, and how we can improve our behavior. We need to be inspired with clear messages and examples of positive living. We need a system of principles and beliefs that help us reach our potential, and that help us interact positively with others. We need to internalize values that guide our daily choices. You can start now by including value-based messages and activities in your family life. This might involve reading together, praying together, serving others as a family, attending church or civic meetings, etc. As you do this, your value system will have positive effects on individual family members, and on your family as a whole.
2. Apologize When You Do Wrong
3. Forgive Quickly
Just as you would like to be forgiven when you make mistakes, quickly forgive family members for the mistakes they make. Although serious violations of trust (violence, abuse, marital infidelity, etc.) might necessitate family breakup or disruption, most offenses we should be able to forgive and work through. We all have weaknesses and we all make mistakes. It is important to have a family environment of understanding and forgiveness. As you forgive family members for their offenses, and encourage them to do the same, you can develop a family environment where the future always holds hope. The door will always be open for family members to make positive changes in who they are and how they act.
4. Laugh and Have Fun
It is amazing how quickly smiles and laughter can brighten an otherwise dismal day. They can restore peace, dispel discouragement, and bring people closer together. Although there are times when seriousness is needed, there are many other times when fun and laughter can be included. It can be easy to get weighed down with the responsibilities and challenges of life. With fun and laughter, family members can lift each other out of gloomy moods or discouraging times. If you would like to increase the amount of fun and laughter in your family, you might start by watching comedies, telling funny stories, and teasing each other in loving ways. Remember that smiles are uplifting and laughter is powerful medicine.
5. Spend Positive Time Together
6. Listen
In general, human beings are poor listeners. Too often we are so focused on what we want to say that we almost don’t hear the person we are supposedly speaking with. As a result, nobody feels listened to or understood. How often does someone really listen to what you are saying, feeling, or experiencing? For most people, being listened to is a rare experience. If you would like to change that in your family, begin listening with real intent. Listen to everything your family members say, no matter what their age. Listen to what they think, what they feel, and what they experience. If you do this, you will learn a lot about your family members, you will feel more compassion for them, and they will know that you understand and care about them. Listening is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our family members.
7. Express Love and Affection
We all have differences, weaknesses, and problems. But, most of all….we all have a deep need to be loved! Although at times family members might be moody, make poor choices, or be emotionally distant, make sure they know that you love them. You can express your love in many wonderful ways, but some of most basic ways include saying “I LOVE YOU” and giving HUGS. Although we might tell ourselves that family members “should just know” we love them, it is much better to express it clearly, and often. If there is anywhere in the world we need to feel accepted, loved, and protected, it is at home. Make your family a place where everyone feels that they belong, have value, and are loved. That way, your family will always feel like HOME!
Although none of the above suggestions are easy to do consistently, they are all simple to begin. Do what you can to put them into practice today. Every positive investment you make in your family is worth the effort. After all, your long-term happiness will always be influenced by the quality of your family relationships.
